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MeNobody14 (2013-04-28 01:33:01)Great story so far! I didn't catch any errors in your grammer and your spelling checks out! This is really good! Two thumbs up!
It's time for review, kiddo!
AmayaTime8D (2013-04-28 01:59:08)Thankus! It's people like you that help me continue! One more person and I'll continue.
a weeb gif to complete my weeb profile MeNobody14 (2013-04-28 03:36:08)Hey, I liked it!
oh wait.. Its still me..
crap. Stupid username.
It's time for review, kiddo!
AmayaTime8D (2013-04-28 08:02:07)Lol, I'll continue for you.
PART 1
I awoke in the hospital with two unknown ladies standing beside me. One looked in the early 20s, and the other looked around 40.
"Oh, you're awake!" The older one said.
I was confused. Why was I here?
"Um... who are you? Why am I here? Why am I hurt amd covered in casts and bandages?" I asked her.
"Oh... forgot to tell you, she has amnesia," A young lady came in, She had a white hat on with a red +. The older lady looked on the verge of tears. I saw the other smile.
"Dear, this one(She put her hand on the young lady's shoulder), is Carrie. Your older sister. She is 22. You are Amaya, and you are 18. I am your mother, Sadie, and I'm 45. You just got Amnesia, which wiped out part of your memory. Tomorrow we will come and take you home." Right then, I smelled a wonderful smell. I looked beside me, a bowl of chicken soup! Noticing how hungry I was, I picked the soup up and drank it. It. Was. Delicious!
This post has been edited one or more times, the last time was:2013-04-30 14:25:31
a weeb gif to complete my weeb profile MeNobody14 (2013-04-28 10:06:13)Kewl. I does it count if I have a personality disorder?
It's time for review, kiddo!
Nope
-b 
-b AmayaTime8D (2013-05-03 07:53:18)Continued. This is a little short.
While I drank the soup, my mother was trying to help me get my memory back, to explain. Most of this never made sense but the more I drank the soup, the more things mad sense. Once I had finished the soup, I was so full and tired that I slumped under the covers of the cozy hospital bed and closed my eyes. I heard the 'doctor', as she had told me who she was, tell my so called family to leave, as I needed rest. The doctor took my empty soup bowl and left, turning the lights out as she left. I fell asleep then. But I woke up at 11:00 PM. It was dark. I glanced around the room, trying to find the source of what woke me up. Then my ears felt like they were going to burst! Pressure was going in and out of my ears like there was a really close-by tornado. Then I saw it. A short, hairy creature with pitch black... I guess you could call it fur? Then it opened it's slit for a mouth. It had bloody teeth sharper than a knife that could cut bones! The teeth were disgustingly yellow and there was dry blood on each and every tooth.
I couldn't help it. I screamed.
a weeb gif to complete my weeb profile MeNobody14 (2013-05-05 02:42:16)Hurry up! I post tons of my creepypasta a day, and this has taken you, what, 3/4 weeks?
It's time for review, kiddo!
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Back to forum: Creepypasta/Story Forum
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Newest registered user: Kris
K, this is a creepypasta/series. I will continue in this same forum. So try to keep bumping this!
Short intro:
I try to breath as I am thrown against the wall by my betraying sister. I tasted blood.
"Stop... please...," I try to say. But all that came out was a weak croak. My sister laughed. She stopped. We heard the garage open. Mom was home. Thank god this was over.
For now.
Sister put a worried expression on her face and rushed down to the garage. I could hear her shouts,
"MOM! AMAYA IS BLEEDING! HURT!" Then I heard hurried footsteps. A second later, mom had appeared at the door.
"What happened?! Never mind that, we have to take her to the ER!"
Then I blacked out.
Hello. My name is Amaya. My father left my mother when I was born. I had an older sister named Carrie.
Carrie loved me a lot when I was a baby. She would cuddle me and baby-sit me, she was a nice loving girl. With Carrie's love, when I was 10, I was a beautiful, nice, and perfect girl. Carrie was jealous.
She told mother to cut my beautifully long hair, she said I was spoiled, in her words. But I wasn't spoiled. I understood my mom when she told me to do something, I understood when she said no. But not for Carrie.
Carrie soon was able to persuade my mother to cut my hair when I was 14. I looked ugly when my hair was cut. It stopped behind my ears. I always cried at night, how ugly I looked. But I was wrong compared to now.
Carrie started abusing me when I was 16. I was also bullied in school. Since we were old enough to stay home, mom left us alone to buy groceries. That was a mistake. When mom was out, that's when Carrie would strike.
Now I am 18, and Carrie is 22. I have bruises, cuts, pink eyes, and scars, which are from me. And my hair STILL hasn't grown back.
I am shattered.
TBC?
Remember, I will continue in the same thread.
2013-04-28 14:57:48