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ConnorRonnoc (2013-07-20 08:15:08)Part 2- Jeff The Killer
Jeff The Killer walks in.
Connor: "Uhh hello?"
Jeff: "Go To Sleep MWHAHAHAHA!!" Dives at Connor.
Connor: "Ahhhh!!!"
Ronnoc: "This guy seems legit" takes his money and points to a room.
Connor: "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!"
Ronnoc: Shrugs "Next we have S. L. Enderman"
Connor: "No way are anymore creepypasta people getting rooms!"
Next time we meet Slenderman see ya there.
Jane: "Don't go to sleep!"
Guy: "Hey your not meant to be here!"
Review as always.
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ConnorRonnoc (2013-07-20 09:33:12)Part 3- Slenderman
Slenderman walks in.
Connor: "Nope sorry no more creepypastas!
Slenderman: Stares
Ronnoc: "He said no!"
Slenderman: Picks up Ronnoc and teleports him.
Connor: Stares open-mouthed "Just take the key!" Throws key to Slenderman.
Slenderman: Drops money on desk and walks to room.
Connor: Sighs.
Next time is Missingno.!
Ronnoc: In fish tank "How did I get here?"
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ConnorRonnoc (2013-07-20 12:32:49)Part 4- Missingno.
Ronnoc: Dripping with water "I'm really starting to hate these guys"
Connor: "Tell me about it"
Part of the wall turns into pixels and disappears and Missingno. floats in.
Connor: "Mum's not gonna like that"
Ronnoc: "I'm more concered about how we get money off this guy"
Missingno.: Transforms into a black and white version of Ronnoc takes a key and drops the money.
Ronnoc: "Why me?"
Connor: "Whatever next is.... Smile Dog?"
Ronnoc: "How did he even get money? Or even read?"
Connor: Shrugs "Probably the same way Rake got here"
Ronnoc: "Wasn't he eating a dog?"
Connor: Sees Smile Dog's corpse on the floor "Nevermind next is Jane T. Killer"
Ronnoc: Facepalms "Aw great..."
Part 5 will be up when I think of it.
Soon the intros will stop and Connor and Ronnoc will have to live with these guys....
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MeNobody14 (2013-07-20 13:04:16)A few things you need to do is put "*" before and after actions. Example: *Facepalms* If write stories in "Script Format", there's still rules on how to do it.
Overall, other than a few missing punctuation marks, this is okay.
Time to update the "How to write a story." Thread!
It's time for review, kiddo!
ConnorRonnoc (2013-07-20 13:31:28)Part 5- Jane The Killer
*Jane The Killer walks in*
Jane The Killer: "Have you seen Jeff!?!"
Connor: "Yeah he's in that room"
Ronnoc: *Whispers* "Why did you rat Jeff out?"
Connor: *Whispers* "He attacked me!"
Jane The Killer: "I'd like a room as far away from Jeff as possible" *whispers* "I'll kill him while he sleeps".
Connor: "Okay then.... here ya go?" *Gives key and takes money*
Ronnoc: "Phew, finally no more people want to rent"
Connor: "Good riddance!"
Next part is the first morning.
2013-07-20 20:32:14
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ConnorRonnoc (2013-07-20 13:40:13)Part 6- The first morning
Ronnoc: "Connor go make everyone some cereal!"
Connor: "Yeah, yeah whatever" *Opens fridge and sees PyroPeng and Jeff fighting for milk inside* "Whaaaa???" *Slams fridge* "Well no cereal..."
Jane: "Can we go out for pancakes?"
Connor: "No I'm not made of money!"
Jane: *Throws knife at Connor's shoulder*
Connor: "AHHHHH!!!"
Ronnoc: "Okay pancakes it is"
The first part of them living together. What will happen next time!?! Will Jane and Jeff fight!?! Will Slendy talk!?! Will Rake do something!?! Find out next time!
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MeNobody14 (2013-07-20 16:28:24)It's funny, it's almost as if the creepypastas live or die by my reviews..
I'm finally a critic!
It's time for review, kiddo!
ConnorRonnoc (2013-07-20 17:31:18)Part 7- The Dafuq night
Connor: *Yawns* "I need something to eat" *Walks past Jane forcing Pyropeng to eat 12 brandmuffins* "How the how does Pyropeng keep getting in here?"
Jeff: *Opens door to the fridge and shrugs, then shuts himself inside*
Connor: "Never mind about the snack...." *walks past Rake chewing on Smile Dog*
Ronnoc: *Opens bedroom door seeing Slenderman* "Out!"
Missingno.: *Pokes Ronnoc on shoulder repeatedly*
Ronnoc: "And would you stop doing that!?!"
Missingno.: *Shakes head and disappears*
Zalgo: "He comes, Zalgo!"
Connor: "Zalgo you didn't rent a room here!"
Zalgo: "Zalgo did, he did too"
Connor: "Whos he?"
Ben: "You shouldn't have done that"
Connor: "Done what?"
Ben: "Let Jeff in the fridge" *points to empty fridge*
Connor: "When did you get a room?"
Ben: "Right now" *Holds one of the bedroom keys Connor had in his pocket*
Ronnoc: *Loads pistol* "THAT'S IT EVERYONE TO BED!"
Everyone: "Meep!" *Each person runs to there rooms except Pyropeng who just stands there awkwardly*
So then next part will be shopping with Creepypastas!! Boy that'll be fun. *Rolls eyes*
I tried making this one longer.
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ConnorRonnoc (2013-07-20 20:56:55)Part 8- Shopping
Jeff: "Ooh we need milk!"
Ben: "Video games!"
Jane: "Perfume and carving knives!"
Ronnoc: "Thats a weird combination"
Missingno.: "Weirder then the Rake chewing Pyropeng?"
Connor: "EVERYBODY SHADDAP!!!"
Slenderman: *Stares* "I need lip balm"
Connor: "YOU DON'T HAVE A MOUTH!!"
Butcher: *Gets mauled by Rake* "AHHHH!!!"
Zalgo: "Me want this cereal"
Eyeless Jack: "I need contact lenses."
Ronnoc: "Where did you come from and YOU DON'T HAVE EYES!"
Pyropeng: "I need milk"
Jeff: "It's MINE!!!!" Dives at Pyropeng "Quick get him on a trampoline and make him eat 12 Brandmuffins!"
Connor: "AHHHH!!!!" *Throws Pyropeng out window*
Ronnoc: "Next time they ARE NOT coming shopping."
That's all folks!
Next up theres a power cut..... how fun....
What will happen next time!?! Will Pyropeng make another cameo!?! Will I force other people to make cameos!?! Will Jeff get over his addiction with milk!?! Find out next time!
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Alright here's my version of Pyropeng's classic story.
Part 1- The Rake
Ronnoc: "Remind me again why we're renting out our house?"
Connor: "We need the money. I knew we shouldn't have spent $6867856887 at the arcade, mom sure was angry"
The Rake walks in with a dog that has it's head ripped off.
Connor: Whispers "I'm not sure about this guy....."
Ronnoc: What!?! What could be more awesome then living with Gollem?"
Connor "He's not..... Oh whatever" Takes Rake's money and points him to his room. "That's your room."
Ronnoc: "That went well.... next we have Jeff T. Killer"
Connor: "I'm starting to see a connection here....."
Part 2 is up when I feel like it.
MeNobody better evaluate this or..... I don't know.
P.S. I know it isn't that funny but it will probably get funnier.